Parent, RE Leader, and OWL Oversight Committee member Lisa Naylor delivered this message during the service on March 6, as the first stewardship credo.
When Rev. Millie asked me to speak about what this church means for me and my family – I hesitated only a moment before realizing that this is an opportunity to verbalize my gratitude for the role that each of you play in our lives whether you know it or not.
We began visiting this congregation about 6 years ago. In 2007 Sunday services became a regular part of mine and Lori’s life and Religious Exploration became a regular part of Shayla’s. Just over a year ago, I signed the book and began to say to myself and others… “I am a Unitarian Universalist”.There was 20 years between my discontinuing participation in the United Church and finding my way here. In those years, before becoming a mom, I firmly believed that the sole purpose of Sunday mornings was to meet friends for long leisurely brunches.
I wasn’t completely without a spiritual focus. I started paying attention to things that Buddha had to say. I was reading about mindfulness and borrowing ideas from earth based religions. Through my relationship with Lori, I got curious about goddesses including the statues of Kwan Yin and the Venus of Willendorf that made their way into our home. However, I was far more interested in my career and social activism in order to change the world around me than I was in what I thought were romantic notions of mysticism or faith.
Unlike many who have left other denominations and found their way here, I was never wounded in any way by the church community of my origin. On the contrary, growing up in a small Ontario town with church at the centre of my family’s life was very positive and the memories from choir, Sunday school, and church camp still give me pleasure. However, as I got older and developed critical thinking, I began to question many things about what I had been taught to believe. I didn’t know if there was a place for that questioning, and it felt wrong to participate in something that I couldn’t be 100% certain of. But that was the all-or-nothing thinking typical of young adulthood; getting older has allowed me to become much more comfortable living in the contradictions! The Unitarian Universalist church has convinced me that the real gift is in the journey itself. It is in asking questions and the seeking of truth rather than in the knowing for certain what is truth.
I admit that I was doing pretty fine those two decades when I didn’t have to be any where on Sunday morning and there was no RE lesson plan to prepare before I could go to bed Saturday night. But some things were missing that I am only now fully grasping.
The first thing that I noticed when I started visiting this church, besides the beauty of the building and the view of the river from that window, was the practice of the social responsibility minute before the service. I have considered myself an activist for many years, however, one can get complacent or overwhelmed and focus only on the issue in front of you. I loved coming here each week and hearing about one important justice event going on either in this church or in the community that I hadn’t known. It might be a rally of some kind or an educational opportunity. From the beginning it opened me up to knowing more about the needs and passions of my adopted city and I felt at home in a place where this practice was important.
Another thing that I noticed quickly was the intentional welcoming of gay and lesbian individuals and their children. I never once wondered if my daughter would feel welcome in the Sunday morning classes. I never had to ask myself if my leadership in a classroom would make another parent uncomfortable.
And finally the third and perhaps the most important thing that caused Lori and I to embrace this community was it’s intergenerational nature. Shayla’s grandparents all live in different provinces; she only sees them about once a year. From the beginning we noticed the elders in this community – vibrant, contributing members of the congregation demonstrating leadership and sharing the wisdom of their experience from many different faith traditions. And we realized – we want that for our daughter. We want for her to know and be known by a caring community that spans generations. This faith community provides that intergenerational context and over time is becoming an extended family in many ways.
Shayla’s life has been enriched by participation in RE and by her developing relationships. Lori and I have learned that our spiritual hunger can be satisfied without compromising intellectual curiosity. The stunning choral music is often a bright spot in my week and I like practicing mindfulness through a few minutes of meditation each Sunday; something that I often have trouble making time for in my own life.
I smiled for two days when I received flowers from the Pastoral Care team when I was recovering from surgery in January. Those beautiful flowers were a constant reminder that we are members of a very special and caring community. I feel confident that in the future, when we are faced with loss or other challenges, this community will be an essential support. For all these reasons and more, our family supports the life of this church through an annual financial pledge and by sharing of our time and energy as RE leaders. I also contribute as a member of the OWL oversight committee and an OWL facilitator.
Sometimes, I still miss those endless Sunday brunches but I have learned that chatting with one of you over a coffee as the sun streams in that window is just as much fun and it is ultimately more important.
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